...true heartbreak...

This isn't about my niece...but it's about a sweet baby girl and her amazing family. It's hard to read...hard to comprehend what they must be going through at this very moment...I read about baby Gracie on Angela's blog.

I loved Angie's post because I think everyone needs to hear what a grieving heart sounds like so that you can know what it needs and although it may feel awkward...so that you can know how to "help".

Gracie's family went from hope to despair in a matter of days. She would be a year old this month, but after having a heart transplant that didn't "take", her family had to face the reality that she wasn't going to make it. She passed away yesterday.

I have to be honest... all these babies dying makes me want to never have another one. The fear of lose just makes me want to stop at 3...but I guess when I think about it, the truth is, I already have so much that I could lose. I have a wonderful husband and 3 beautiful children who could be taken away from me at anytime. I don't know what the Lord has in store. If it ends up being part of His plan that I suffer the pain that I have watched Angie and others go through...I just don't know if I will be able to do it. I don't want to find out if I could! I try to think of what the "moral of the story" is for me. What can I learn from their pain? Today, I think it is to not be afraid. Now, I am not saying I am ready to have another baby or anything. I just think that there's so much to be afraid of...I am mostly afraid that I am not a good enough mom...that my kids will somehow grow up to resent me and that I wont live worthy of the Eternal Family that I want so badly. Nothing could be worse.

...Anways...somehow I have turned this post into being about me. What I really wanted to say was that you should visit Angie's and Gracie's blogs and then just love on your kids because they really are precious gifts from God!